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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24724828">Even broken in a million pieces you put me back together</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amandjnx/pseuds/Amandjnx'>Amandjnx</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe CarolNat One Shots [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Anton is a good kid, Awesome Carol Danvers, But it looks better with multi chapters, Cold War, F/F, I don't know how medically accurate this is, Let's say it totally is in this universe, Spy Natasha Romanov, carolnat, it was supposed to be a oneshot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:54:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,860</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24724828</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amandjnx/pseuds/Amandjnx</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha Romanoff is a spy for the Red Army but betrays her country for the enemy.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Carol Danvers &amp; Natasha Romanov, Carol Danvers/Natasha Romanov</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe CarolNat One Shots [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1669021</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Tw (for the entirety of the fiction): Blood, Violence, Physical Abuse, Vomiting</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>Day: </b> <b>21</b> <b>st</b>  <b>of February.</b></p><p>
  <b>Location: Moscow, Central, Russia.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Natasha had been called by the Red Army to report the advancement of her mission, getting informations on the US strategy. Russia was in bad shape, they were losing the war little by little and the infos Natasha was collecting were crucial for the largest country of the Earth. The truth was that Natasha was doing the opposite of what she was asked, she was actually giving informations to the Americans about the Russian government and other military secrets she had encounter in the many bases she had visited to help them finally finishing and win this cold war.</p><p> </p><p><a id="dictEntry10000780173" name="dictEntry10000780173"></a>This meeting was unexpected. Usually, she gave her infos to her liaison officer, and then the man would sent them to the army, but, for the first time, she had been convoked. It wasn't the normal procedure and that scared her, it couldn't be good for the red haired spy to be called back to the capital.</p><p> </p><p>She entered the building of the Red Army and was led to a room by two agents. They were young, barely adults she noted, easy to take down if she needed to escape for any reason. They reached an elevator and, for Natasha's big surprise, one of the agents pressed a button to go down, not up. It really sounded bad for her now, interrogation rooms in the basement were most of the time for people suspected of crimes, not when agents had to give a report.</p><p> </p><p>Natasha observed her surrounding and saw three armed soldiers at the end of the corridor, yet it was dead silent and all the rooms at this floor seemed empty. Her doubts were quickly confirmed when they stepped in an interrogation room, two more armed men were there and one was waiting outside, the door was open to make Natasha think she wasn't in danger but she knew better, she was in big trouble. She sat on one of the two chairs around the table in the middle of the room and waited, not making eye contact with any of the agent present.</p><p> </p><p>“Agent Romanoff, thank you for coming in such short notice,” a man said as he entered the room, who Natasha quickly recognised as being Alexei Shostakov, one of the Red Army's best sergeants.</p><p> </p><p>Natasha allowed herself to scoff, if she was in deep shit she could at least have fun before getting killed, “didn't really have a choice, did I?”</p><p> </p><p>He replied with a laughter as he sat on the chair at the other side of the table, opposite to Natasha, “We just have a few questions, it should be quick.”</p><p> </p><p>“Doubt that,” she said under her breath, already looking for ways to save herself if the situation had to go sideways for her.</p><p> </p><p>“You've been on the enemy's soil for six months and haven't been reporting anything useful for us, is it because you are not as efficient as the country thought you were or is it something else?”</p><p> </p><p>“Is there a right answer to this question?” Natasha replied with a smirk.</p><p> </p><p>Shostakov chuckled as he glanced at the soldiers in the room with them, “You are right, there is no good answer, and that is the problem. That is why you are here, in this holding cell disguised as a questioning room, but you already guessed that, right?”</p><p> </p><p>“No one-way mirror, way to much guards for an empty floor and you, yeah, I knew it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well then, you also saw that coming didn't you?” Before she could react, try to counter the attack, Natasha got hit in the jaw with a baton from one of the agents and fell off her chair. She felt it instantly, blood in her mouth, probably caused by some broken teeth and bones. She attempted to get up but she was too dizzy to do so and collapsed on the cold cement, blood streaming out her slightly opened mouth.</p><p> </p><p>Shostakov stood up from his chair and slowly walked towards her, bent down and violently grabbed her hair, causing Natasha to groan because of the pain, “You've been hiding things from us, Agent Romanoff, and that is unacceptable. We believe you have informations we need and you are going to give them to us, the sooner the better, especially if you want to live.”</p><p> </p><p>Natasha looked at him in the eyes and spat the blood she had in her mouth on his face, “I rather die then, and I don't know what you are talking about.”</p><p> </p><p>“All right,” he got on his feet and took a baton from one of the two agents, “have a good nap.”</p><p> </p><p>She remained laying on the ground and closed her eyes, she knew what was coming, he was going to take his best swing to knock her off. One of the soldiers stepped towards her and covered her face with a cloth, before leaning on her with all his weight to stop her from moving, his knee on her back and held her arms. They weren't going to kill her, the fabric was there to prevent that, it would take most of the impact be she would still get knocked unconscious.</p><p> </p><p>Natasha inhaled deeply and held it in her lungs, she was hearing Shostakov laughing and thought that she could faint before he'd do it but this technique is a long process and even though she learnt to master it, she couldn't achieve her goal before he hit her in the forehead with all his strength.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Day: 21st of February, 1st day of captivity.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Location: Moscow, Central, Russia.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Natasha woke up with an awful migraine, lying on the floor with only her underwear and a tank top, her hands and feet tied together with a large grey tape. She had been moved but was still in the same building, she recognised this kind of holding cells, she had brought people in them in the past. Even with her eyes closed, she can see through her eyelids that the room is brightly enlightened and she didn't want to take the risk to analyse her surrounding now or the headache would get worse.</p><p> </p><p>Trying to forget the horrible pain in her head, she suddenly feel a light touch on her hairline. It stung a bit but was more bearable than the rest. Slightly opening her eyes to see who was taking care of her, she whimpered and closed them back.</p><p> </p><p>“Shhh, if they know you are conscious they will tell me to leave,” the person said with a quiet whisper. It was a woman, Natasha was sure of it, and now she needed to get a sneak peek of her.</p><p> </p><p>She waited while the woman was cleaning her wounds, hoping she would move to block the source of the light therefore Natasha would be able to open her eyes but she never did and let the redhead on the floor before leaving. Natasha used all the little bit of strength she had in her to open her eyes and got a glimpse of her saver, a blonde, tall woman, probably around her age. She barely had the time to see her entire face but for what she had the chance to catch the sight, this woman was beautiful, and she kept her image in her head as she passed out again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Day: 22nd of February, 2nd day of captivity.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Location: Moscow, Central, Russia.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>She woke up the next day on a thin mattress, almost useless if you asked her, she had slept on more comfortable floors in her career. The light in the room was still too much to bare for her eyes and the headache hadn't left with her sleep, quite the opposite. Natasha rolled on her other side and hit the wall with her tied extremity, it hurt on the moment but it was worth it, that way the light bulb wasn't blinding her.</p><p> </p><p>The first thing that crossed her mind was the woman from the day prior, she had never heard or seen her before, she could be a new agent but Natasha highly doubted it, she didn't have a strong accent like all the other agents and soldiers who spoke English. She remembered her face and that was another point that made her think she wasn't Russian, she had encounter a lot of Russian women in her life, slept with them as well, to get informations and because she liked it, and with all that Natasha was sure that this woman wasn't from her country. She looked more like a native English speaker, she was sure of her words when she talked, not like all the eastern Europeans Natasha met during her work, all of them, even herself, were hesitant when they spoke this language.</p><p> </p><p>Her trail of thought got interrupted by the gurgle of her stomach, and rightly so, she hadn't eat since she arrived in the building the day before. Natasha knew it was a strategy to get her to talk, starving her, but she wasn't going give them what they wanted just because she was hungry, she had survived worse in her life. The noise was still very loud and it hurt her ears still aching because of the hit she took in the head. The redhead tried to cover her ears but the tape around her wrists and ankles was tied too much, she couldn't even reach her chin with her hands.</p><p> </p><p>Accepting her defeat, she sighed before rolling up into a ball, she was cold and the lack of clothes wasn't helping. As she was drifting into sleepiness she heard two people talking and it awoke her instantly.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>We have to move them soon.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>Who is them?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>The traitor and Carol. That girl was useless until she showed herself capable of patching up the traitor, and the boss said we must keep trying to get the infos she has, so we'll need someone to heal her to destroy her even more the next day. I don't know about you, but I personally cannot approach traitors if it's not to beat the shit out of them.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>Alright, shall we move them tonight?”</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>Yes, the sooner, the better.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Natasha chuckled, they would never get any of the informations they were seeking, even if it meant that she had to suffer and probably die to keep them. She also noted one thing, <em>Carol. </em>It had to be the name of the woman from the day before, especially considering what they said about her.</p><p> </p><p>“If I have to die at least I will do it with a good looking woman patching me up”, Natasha thought and fell asleep again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Day: 23rd of February, 3rd day of captivity.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Location: Moscow, Central, Russia.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Natasha was woken up by noises in her cell. She rolled on her back and realised her legs weren't tied with tape any more, but her hands were handcuffed. It was late in the night, around 3 o'clock was her guess and the only light in the cell was from an electric torch. Natasha sat up on the mattress, leaning against the wall and waited until the person in the room moved to face her.</p><p> </p><p>It was Carol, of course it was her, the soldiers wouldn't approach a traitor she remembered. Surprisingly, the blonde didn't get scared when she saw Natasha not being asleep any more, “Well, I thought I'd never see you conscious again ,” Carol joked and the redhead replied with a short laugh, “Probably the only time you can see me like that, I feel like the next days will be painful for me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don't know about that,” the blonde said with a way of talking that Natasha recognised, the other woman was American, she was now sure of it.</p><p> </p><p>Natasha observed what Carol had in her hands and what was on the ground and couldn't fight but wonder, “Why are you here? I heard you were there to patch me up, and I don't need that right now.” She saw in Carol's eyes that she noticed the 'she heard' part but decided not to talk about it, “They want to move you… and for that they want you sedated,” Carol admitted as she showed Natasha the needle filled with some liquid that would do what the Red Army wanted.</p><p> </p><p>“Good call, I would try to escape if I was awake,” Natasha chuckled but the other woman didn't react, “Carol?” she said quietly, suddenly worried.</p><p> </p><p>“You heard that too?” the blonde asked, half smile. Natasha nodded as she analysed Carol's behaviour, she didn't seem happy to do what she was asked, “I'm Natasha,” the redhead said before offering her hand – both her hands actually since she was handcuffed – and smiled. After a short hesitation, Carol glanced at Natasha and shook her hand. Something happened during these few seconds, Natasha didn't know exactly what it was but it was like she could feel what Carol was feeling, and it was worry. She shook the feeling off, thinking that it was just her own thoughts plus the tiredness and hungriness that were taking the best of her.</p><p> </p><p>“Um… if I take too long they will wonder what I'm doing so…” Carol looked down at Natasha's arm, “Oh, yeah, sedated.” the redhead replied and extended her arm.</p><p> </p><p>Carol tied a tourniquet around Natasha's arm, above the elbow, until she could see a vein, “It should knock you out pretty quickly,” she said before pricking the needle in the redhead's skin. Natasha tilted her back against the wall and bit her lips, she wasn't phobic of needle s but she was not a fan of them either. Carol slowly injected the sedative in Natasha's body and she could feel the effects kicking in, her sight became blurry, her muscles weak and her eyelids so heavy she had to fight against herself to keep her eyes open, “Okay… careful,” Carol mumbled, more to herself than to Natasha, and help the redhead laying on the mattress. She gently cupped Natasha's face with one hand while grasping her vest top to slow her fall. The redhead was almost gone into unconsciousness when she felt Carol stroking her thumb on her cheek, “I'm going to take good care of you, I promise,” she whispered. These were the last things in Natasha's mind as the sedative won over her will to stay awake.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Day: 24th of February, 4th day of captivity.</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Location: Unknown.</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Another headache, <em>great.</em> Or maybe it was still the same, maybe the one from the baton's hit never left. Natasha didn't remember her head hurting the day before when Carol was in her cell, or maybe she was mesmerized by the blonde and didn't noticed that her brain felt like it was melting and going to explode at the same time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She heard keys jiggling and looked up at the door and at the same time analysed her new cell. She had toilets, unlike in the building of the Red Army where she had to pee in a bucket, for the only time she needed to and hopefully for her dignity managed to reach. She was still wearing the same clothes and was laying on an old mattress on the ground, oddly better than the other one. Nothing else was there, for her guards safety, Natasha could make a shiv out of anything. The redhead was still handcuffed, but they weren't the same, these ones were less comfortable.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After some more awful-for-her-ears keys noises, Alexei Shostakov entered with a big grin on his face, “Agent Romanoff! How is the head doing?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Natasha locked her gaze with his and scoffed, “Am I still an agent? Because I feel like this,” she waved at her surrounding, “that's not how agents are treated.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It depends on how you will behave in the future. If you give us what we asked when we hired you then you will still be an agent, of you don't, you might become unemployed.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Great, I was tired of being a spy anyway,” She said as she sat up, pulling her knees up under her chin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Shostakov looked for something in his pocket as slowly walked towards her, “Unfortunately for you my orders are that I have to get those informations, whether you give them willingly her not.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Natasha saw it in his hand, a baton again, the headache wouldn't leave anytime soon, “Well, knock yourself out, I am definitely not willing to tell you anything.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He chuckled and, with a fast move, took a thick cloth out of his other pocket, put it on her forehead and hit her so hard that she passed out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>You have to stop hitting her in the head like that. </em> <em> She could die from her brain bleeding and I can</em><em>' </em><em>t do anything about it.” </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>What should we do then?”</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Come on, I</em><em>'</em><em>m sure you</em><em>'</em><em>ve been taught how to torture people. If you want to keep her alive you have to use those techniques or she will die.” </em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Day: 28th of February, 8th day of captivity.</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <strong> Location: </strong> <strong> Unknown. </strong> </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They gave her some days to recover, but from the conversation she overheard when she wasn't totally unconscious, the worst was coming.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Natasha didn't know what to think about what she heard, Carol was advising the soldiers on how to beat her, how to torture her. She wasn't sure the blonde was doing her job willingly or not before but after this it sounded like she was.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her eyes wandering around, Natasha saw a tray on the ground of her cell and jumped on its contents. She only had drunk since she got there, it was the first time she eaten and, damn, it felt really good to get something in her stomach. It was just stale bread and water but she needed it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her meal quickly got interrupted by a guard stepping in her cell, “Hands on the wall, face down, and spread your legs.” he ordered.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Natasha got up, the bread still in her hand and finished it before obliging. As the soldier body-searched her, for no reason she thought, she heard footsteps and when she turned around her favourite abductor was here, “Good evening,” Shostakov said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, is it, I can't really tell through this wall,” Natasha said with a sarcastic tone before sitting on the mattress.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It's snowing actually, looks beautiful,” the redhead laughed, why the hell was he telling her that, she didn't need someone to make the conversation, she rather get knocked off again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Natasha, Shostakov and the guard remained silent for a couple minutes, it was a strategy to intimidate her, she knew it and wasn't going to fall for it. Another minute passed before Shostakov got impatient, “Okay, you now the drill, want to talk or not?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don't waste your time, you know the answer.” At that, Shostakov nodded before calling the guard. The latter left the cell to come back a few seconds later with another soldier who had ropes in his hands, “Alright then,” Shostakov said before grabbing Natasha by her hair tackled her to the ground, all his weight on her back. The guy with the ropes tied her legs and then did the same with her arms, despite the handcuffs. When he was done, he carried her to the bars of the door and attached Natasha at them, her arms up above her head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Without asking his question again, Alexei Shostakov started punching Natasha in her stomach, not too hard at first, but the repetitiveness of the hits made it hurt a lot. After at least ten minutes of using Natasha as a human punching bag, he stopped and took her jaw in his hand, “Still don't want to talk?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Natasha couldn't help but smile as she shook her head, “Right,” he said and punch her in the face, knocking her out.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Day: 12th of March, 20th day of captivity.</b>
</p><p>
  <b> <strong> Location: </strong> <strong> Unknown. </strong> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Shostakov did the same thing for twelve days, punching her, asking her if she wanted to talk before knocking her unconscious. Every times when she awoke, her wounds on her face, nose and cheekbones were patched up, she had an ice pack on her belly to calm the pain and was laying on the mattress with food awaiting her. She barely noticed the headache any more, it was becoming her new normal.</p><p> </p><p>Natasha wished she could fight it all, the pain, the inevitable unconsciousness so she could see Carol again but she also knew they wouldn't send her if Natasha wasn't knocked out.</p><p> </p><p>With that in mind she got the good idea to fake it, act like she passed out while Shostakov would to his daily training with Natasha as his punching bag and hope that he wouldn't punch her in the face just to be sure, for his own pleasure or out of habits.</p><p> </p><p>And she did it, although it wasn't that hard to pretend, it still hurt like hell to get punch in the stomach. Shostakov didn't realise right away Natasha's faux-passing out, but when he did he almost scream in victory, “Guess who broke the unbreakable agent Romanoff. Ah, it feels great,” he exclaims before leaving the cell, ordering the guards to move Natasha back to her bed.</p><p> </p><p>It was a very informative moment for her, she learnt that the guy with the ropes was quite gentle with her, he could just throw her on the mattress and sloppily cut the ropes but instead he carefully untied her and laid her down. Natasha could easily escape, this man was strong but she had the skills to beat him. Though she didn't because she knew he wasn't armed, Shostakov probably guessed that she would try something one day and the more weapons in the cell the easier it would be for her to beat them. Even if she managed to exit the cell other guards were there and they would have guns and wouldn't hesitate to shoot.</p><p> </p><p>When he was done he call someone, another soldier guarding her, Natasha figured, who yelled the name of the person she did all this for, Carol.</p><p> </p><p>A few minutes later, the blonde woman arrived and quickly got to work. She kneeled beside Natasha and put an ice pack on her stomach. Since she hadn't very much to do except that, Natasha thought she had to be fast and moved her arm until she found Carol's knee. She wasn't a hundred percent sure but imagined that Carol knew Morse code and therefore told her via this that she was awake.</p><p> </p><p>Four dots, two dots, 'hi', it was the only thing she could think of and it apparently worked because she heard Carol chuckled before speaking up, “Hey, Anton! Could you get me some water please, she had a cut there that I need to take care of,” the guard left without responding and Natasha opened her eyes when she couldn't hear his footsteps any more, “How long do we have?” she asked, looking around to check nobody else was there.</p><p> </p><p>“A few minutes. He is a great kid and always lets me do my things alone when I ask him to.”</p><p> </p><p>Natasha raised an eyebrow, “He is always here when you are too?” she wondered as she pinched the bridge of her nose in a hopeless attempt to soothe her sore head.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, the others hate to see me patching you up,” Carol says before cleaning one of Natasha's wound on her face, “they wish you were dead.”</p><p> </p><p>“That sounds logical,” Natasha replied before rolling on her back, slightly grimacing because of her painful stomach, “Alexei does this thing, everyday before getting me ready for, you know… he tells me it's snowing outside, as if he knows it's my favourite weather.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, he probably does, because it hasn't been snowing here since we arrived.”</p><p> </p><p>Natasha scoffed, which caused her to whimper because of her abdomen tensing up, “Where are we by the way?” she asked, her gaze shifting from the celling to Carol's eyes, “East Berlin, or close anyway. I heard some agents speaking German, and unfortunately didn't understand,” the blonde admitted before slipping a strand of red hair behind Natasha's ear, “but I understand Russian and I'm pretty sure they don't know about that,” Natasha forced herself to just smirk, knowing that more would hurt.</p><p> </p><p>They remained silent for a minute, staring into each other's eyes as Carol gently stroked her thumb on Natasha's cheek, doing her best not to hurt the redhead in the process. Natasha eventually looked away which brought them both back to reality, “Anton should be back soon, try to get some rest, they won't give you your food before tomorrow early in the morning.”</p><p> </p><p>“Something you <em> heard </em> ?” Natasha rhetorically asks with a smirk and Carol answered with a nod and a smile so big she squinted her eyes, “I hope you'll be able to play them more often, I love talking to you,” the blonde said as she tidied her stuff.</p><p> </p><p>Carol took Natasha's hand and squeezed it, wordlessly telling the redhead to be strong, and, damn, how Natasha needed this support. After one last glance, Carol got on her feet and left the room. Natasha rolled on the position she was when the blonde got here and heard her apologising to Anton for making him get water when she actually didn't really need it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Day: 2nd of April, 41st day of captivity.</b>
</p><p><strong> <b>Location: </b> </strong> <strong> <b>East Berlin, </b> </strong> <strong> <b>German Democratic Republic.</b> </strong></p><p> </p><p>Unfortunately for Natasha she never succeed again at faking unconsciousness. After that day, Shostakov tried new types of tortures with knives, cold and hot water, fire and Natasha figured that he had received the right equipment to do so and that was why he stuck to the punching before.</p><p> </p><p>Natasha had small cuts from those three days Alexei tried his new knives on her, it stung a lot but she never bled too much from it and so ended with a punch in the face after his daily question didn't get an answer. She also had burns on her back and bruises everywhere else, she just found herself grateful that he or any other Russian s present to guard her never tried to rape her.</p><p> </p><p>Carol washed Natasha every two weeks from what the redhead counted, though she was always wearing the same vest top and underwear, that had been cleaned once.</p><p> </p><p>When she woke up that day she was surprised not to see Shostakov stepping into her cell in the next ten minutes. Natasha walked around the small and cold room, her hands not cuffed for the first time, looking through the door to try and see if someone was coming but there was nothing. No guard there either , and with that she realised that it was another torture technique, isolation. It would probably last a month and she was fine with it. Of course she was going to get bored but at least her body would heal up, to be destroyed again sadly.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Day: 9th of May, 78th day of captivity.</b>
</p><p>
  <b> <strong> Location: </strong> <strong> East Berlin, German Democratic Republic. </strong> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Just like anticipated, the isolation lasted a bit more than a month. Natasha literally didn't see anybody during these thirty seven days, she only heard voices and her food was given to her when she was sleep. She tried to play the guards but it ended up with her exhausted and starving, because they never came if they weren't sure she wouldn't see them.</p><p> </p><p>The redhead used those days to exercise, she did push-ups, squats and all the things she could do with only her body to work out. It wasn't necessary at all, she didn't missed it or anything but she hoped that getting her muscles thicker would help absorbing the impacts of the hits and perhaps be a bit more painful for Shostakov when he punched.</p><p> </p><p>On what Natasha supposed was the afternoon of the day, considering the light coming from the windowed corridor, she was visited by more people than she had encounter since she had been abducted.</p><p> </p><p>“Agent Romanoff,” Shostakov said, oddly with a joyful tone, “it's been a while. How have you been?”</p><p> </p><p>“Alone, but that was the point, right?” Natasha asked sarcastically.</p><p> </p><p>He kept talking but Natasha didn't pay attention, she was too drawn by somebody in the audience, Carol. She had to be honest, she had missed her, though she wasn't sure she would have seen her if Alexei had kept his torture routine. Just been prisoner made Natasha realise that she was getting attached to one of her keeper and that wasn't good for her, Stockholm syndrome, first time she ever experienced it. But Carol was a weird abductor, she was so nice to Nat, like she actually cared when really she was just doing her job.</p><p> </p><p>After a snap of his fingers, bringing Natasha back on Earth, Shostakov said, “Hope you don't mind I brought you new furniture,” by furniture he meant only a chair, and Natasha had nothing to say about it anyway, she knew she would soon be tied at it and he would beat the shit out of her in front of at least fifteen guards.</p><p> </p><p>And just like she had thought, Shostakov immobilised her on the chair with ropes, way too tied for her blood to stream normally in her veins and arteries, but that was the least of Alexei's worries.</p><p> </p><p>He presented her as a traitor who had informations to help Russia win the war to his audience, which was true, and all the spectators cheered for him, all but Carol w ho just stood there, expressionless.</p><p> </p><p>“Today I have a wager for you. The one of you the closer to the number of punches she needs to pass out wins, and I'll get him the best women we can find in this city,” the soldiers cheered and applauded even more after that.</p><p> </p><p>They all gave a number and Natasha remembered only one of them, Anton's, since he was for what Carol said a good kid, Natasha would try to hold on until the hundred th hit of Shostakov's fist s in her face, and if she felt good enough she would fake it like she did almost two months ago.</p><p> </p><p>Natasha was glad Carol didn't take part in this bet, not that Alexei asked her for a number but she seemed to not be interested anyway.</p><p> </p><p>Shostakov started with nine quick strikes, using both his hands and then asked Natasha the usual question, “Do you have the informations I am asking for?” she didn't even bother to reply any more, she simply shook her head and received another hit in the head.</p><p> </p><p>He punched her ten more times and wonder the same thing but only got a refusal in response. Another ten hits later Natasha saw Carol in the corner of her eyes, jaw clenched, eyes watering, and she left before the redhead got punched for the thirtieth time of the day. After that he asked more frequently, it was a strategy to make Natasha give in but she knew better than that and never did, didn't even say a word to annoy the audience and at the hundredth blow, she acted like it was to much for her and faked passing out.</p><p> </p><p>She heard the soldiers booing, only one of them was happy and it was Anton, who was going to get laid, hopefully with consenting girls.</p><p> </p><p>This time, Shostakov did the work himself and untied Natasha before throwing her on the mattress on the ground. She used all her willpower to keep any sound in her, if he realised she was faking unconscious ness she would have a rough time.</p><p> </p><p>All the soldiers left one by one until it was only Anton, and then he was joined by Carol, “could you leave me alone please?” she asked with a trembling voice.</p><p> </p><p>“Sure,” he replied and obliged.</p><p> </p><p>A dozens of seconds passed and nothing happened, Natasha kept her eyes closed, she wanted to know how Carol proceeded when she was taking care of her wounds, but the blonde didn't move. After a bit more time Natasha heard something and thought she was hallucinating, it was a sob. Curiosity took the best of her and she opened her eyes to find Carol crying as she sat beside her.</p><p> </p><p>“Carol?” she said and made the blonde gasp with surprise.</p><p> </p><p>The redhead sat up, whimpering painfully as her back touched the cold wall, “Natasha, you played them again?” Carol asked with relief in her voice, wiping away her tears. Natasha nodded, she wasn't going to ask Carol why she was crying, she knew what it was, the brutality of the scene she had just witnessed. Emerald gaze met hazelnut one before Carol's hand found Natasha's cheek, gently stroking her thumb up and down her sensitive skin.</p><p> </p><p>“Ouch!” Natasha complained and Carol replied with a giggle, “I believe you are supposed to make me feel better not the opposite,” she added with an ironic tone.</p><p> </p><p>“Right. Let me see what we've got.”</p><p> </p><p>Carol took a long while to clean and stitch the cuts on Natasha's face and it gave them the time to chat. The redhead wanted to hear things non work related and they ended talking about the sports they practised, ballet for Natasha and hiking for Carol.</p><p> </p><p>Before leaving Carol asked Natasha if she had what Shostakov and the Red Army was asking for and the redhead just gave her a nod as an answer.</p><p> </p><p>The blonde advised Natasha not to jump on her food when she'd wake up, yes she was hungry so it was hard to resist but Shostakov only came to her cell when she had awoken naturally, he didn't want to awake her himself.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Day: 28th of May, 97th day of captivity.</b>
</p><p>
  <b> <strong> Location: </strong> <strong> East Berlin, German Democratic Republic. </strong> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Shostakov might have a sort of planning for torture because Natasha realised there was a pattern. It repeated every two weeks, which helped Natasha keep track of time. The Mondays he tortured her with water, whether it was fake drowning with a towel on her face and litres of cold water or skin burning with boiling water. The Tuesdays and Thursdays he cut into her flesh with different types of sharp weapons, Wednesdays were the days for Shostakov to work out, using Natasha's stomach as his punching bag. The last three days of the week he either starve her or burn her with fire, and Natasha definitely preferred the first option.</p><p> </p><p>It wasn't hard torturing, Natasha had seen and done worse than that but it always ended with the prisoner dying and that was the opposite of what the Red Army wanted.</p><p> </p><p>Today was a Tuesday, which meant that Natasha was going to be tortured for a long time with small yet painful cuts on her arms and legs. She woke up and immediately ate her food, she remembered what Carol had told her a few weeks back but she'd rather make it quick, the best part of her existence now was when she was unconscious.</p><p> </p><p>Shostakov spent six hours stabbing her, cutting her skin and muscles, not that much so she didn't bleed out but still enough to make her scream because of the pain it caused. When he was done he asked his usual question before punching her in the face, but this time the hit was weak and Natasha didn't drift into unconsciousness. She was stunned for a bit though, she didn't really feel when the guards untied her and moved her from the chair to the mattress but she could hear some words, she heard them calling Carol and managed to open her eyes when the blonde knelt beside her.</p><p> </p><p>“Anton, you know the drill,” she stated and the soldier left without a word.</p><p> </p><p>Natasha's sight was blurry and the blood loss wasn't helping her getting better. Carol must have seen it because it was the first thing she focused her attention on, stopping the redhead's body from bleeding. She cleaned and stitched the deepest wounds fire and then gentle shook Natasha, “How did you survive all that, there are so many cuts I can't even count them.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don't know,” Natasha mumbled, her head falling back on the mattress, “maybe I wanted to see you,” she added in an almost inaudible whisper.</p><p> </p><p>Carol chuckled before helping Natasha sitting up, which made her whole body ache, “What are you doing,” she whined as she moved to lay back but Carol stopped her, “I need to have an access to your arm.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why?”</p><p> </p><p>Carol took something out of her pocket, a syringe, “I'm going to sedate you, it should knock you out for at least two days.”</p><p> </p><p>Natasha struggled but managed to raise an eyebrow, “They wanna move me again?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, I just don't want you to suffer for a few days. If he keeps going like this you won't survive.”</p><p> </p><p>Natasha clicked her tongue and closed her eyes, “Okay, do it.”</p><p> </p><p>Carol didn't waste a second and jabbed the needle in one of Natasha's not-treated-yet cuts, which made her whimper in pain, “Sorry, if I do it somewhere else they'll see the mark of the needle,” at that, Natasha just gritted her teeth, it hurt as much as Shostakov's knives but it would soothe her in the end.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you,” Natasha muttered as she felt the sedative kicking in, and before she knew it Carol had helped her so she was laying on her back and took care of the last wounds she hadn't patched yet.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Day: 11st of June, 111st day of captivity.</b>
</p><p><strong> <b>Location: </b> </strong> <strong> <b>East Berlin, German Democratic Republic.</b> </strong></p><p> </p><p>The effect of the sedative lasted longer than expected, because Natasha's body was weak and small the redhead figured. She woke up in the middle of Saturday and it was a week in which she fasted for the last three days of it. Considering that her last meal was the one from the Tuesday morning, she was really starving and Shostakov accepted to give her food but in exchange he tortured her with fire.</p><p> </p><p>After that, the routine came back, until this day.</p><p> </p><p>She awoke and saw a tray full of food, unlike what she usually had. There were fruits, a banana and an apple, both already peeled, scrambled eggs and a plastic glass of juice. It felt weird at the moment but Natasha was so hungry that she forgot the feeling and ate it all in a few minutes. Then she sat on her mattress, her back against the wall and waited, knowing that her torturer would soon show up but he didn't. Half an hour passed and nobody came so Natasha decided to take a nap, thinking that maybe they were doing the isolation thing again.</p><p> </p><p>Barely dozing off, she felt her stomach twisting and before she could reach the toilet she threw up a part of the food she had just eaten. The soldier guarding her at the time instantly asked for help, which Natasha found odd, the food must have been poisoned and he should have known about it.</p><p> </p><p>She heard fast footsteps coming towards her as she kept vomiting, but in the toilet this time, “Shit,” a feminine voice said, and of course it was Carol, “get me something to clean this, a blanket, water and I want to see Alexei right now,” the blonde yelled before joining Natasha.</p><p> </p><p>She bent down beside Natasha and cupped her jaw, attempting to see her eyes but Natasha's whole body was aching and opening her eyes was too hard, “Hey, what happened to you?” Carol asked and before Natasha could answer Shostakov entered the cell, “Guess she had a hard time digesting something,” he said with a shit eating smirk.</p><p> </p><p>“You poisoned her food, what the fuck is wrong with you, she could die from this,” Carol shouted as she stood up and walked towards Alexei, her fists clenched.</p><p> </p><p>His eyes got darker all of a sudden and Carol took a step back just in case he was too angry to control himself, “I was told to do this and if you talk to me like that again you are the one whose going to die,” he stated and walked to the door, “she won't get the blanket you asked, the water is coming and you better clean this well, it smells like shit.”</p><p> </p><p>Carol didn't really paid attention to what he said and went back to Natasha's side. She sat next to the trembling woman and tied her red hair in a bun with an elastic she had around her wrist, “it's gonna be okay, you just need to get it all out of you and it won't hurt you any more,” she whispered as she rubbed Natasha's back while she was coughing.</p><p> </p><p>“Dammit,” Natasha muttered as she slightly opened her eyes and saw blood in on the hand she used to cover her mouth, she didn't know what was going on inside her but it was bad whatsoever.</p><p> </p><p>“Let me see,” Carol said as she cupped Natasha's cheek but the latter rejected her touch, “Leave me alone,” the redhead cried out before feeling nauseous again. Carol didn't leave her side as she vomited again but when she was done, Natasha pushed her away, “Eh, let me help you.”</p><p> </p><p>“No! Fuck you! I wanna die! Just let me fucking die,” Natasha screamed despite how sore her throat was, tears streaming down her cheeks. This was her low point, the food poisoning affected her way more than what she could have ever imagine and the pain she was enduring was too much for her. If she had a haemorrhage inside her that could kill her then she wanted to let it do its work, she couldn't take it any more.</p><p> </p><p>Carol stayed a little, staring at Natasha while she was throwing up, she cleaned the floor and gave Natasha the promised glass of water before leaving the cell, worry and sadness on her face.</p><p> </p><p>When she only had bile to vomit, Natasha laid down on the ground next to the toilet and passed out, hoping that she would never wake up again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>Day:</b> <b>June 27th, 127th day of captivity.</b></p>
<p><strong> <b>Location: </b> </strong> <strong> <b>East Berlin, German Democratic Republic.</b> </strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Unfortunately for Natasha she did wake up, for what she heard from the guards about two weeks later because of an injection Shostakov did to wake her up. It was the most painful awakening she had ever experienced in her life, she felt like everything she went through since she had been made prisoner, all the pain from every single cut, punch, burn, broken bone, everything came back all at once, and she suffered so much that Alexei didn't even tried to torture her, a bit more pain would kill her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He sent Carol to take care of her but once again Natasha rejected her, “Let me die, please,” she said with the little strength she could find inside her, tears uncontrollably streaming down her cheeks. The blonde took her hand and squeezed it gentle as Natasha couldn't stop whimpering because of the soreness of her whole body, “I'm so sorry Natasha but if I do that they will kill me,” she stated as she stroked her other hand in the red locks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This sentence piqued Natasha's curiosity, “What do you mean?” she managed to ask between deep and loud whimpers. Carol sat at the edge of the mattress and pulled Natasha's head on her lap, “I'm a prisoner here Natasha, just like you. The difference is that they don't torture me because I already told them what I knew.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You are not with them?” Natasha murmured yet the disbelief in her tone was still quite evident, “No, I was captured about a week before you and since I'm American they asked what I knew, which is basically nothing.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Natasha scoffed, causing her to cough hard. The pain it sent through her body made her sat up, she was mindlessly looking for a position that would make her suffer less but nothing helped. Carol moved closer to Natasha before pulling her against her own body, “Shh, I've got you, I'm not leaving you, I promise,” Carol said as she wrapped her arms around Natasha's aching stomach, tightly enough to keep her sitting but not to much either so she didn't cause any more unnecessary pain.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They remained like this for a few long hours, the pain not fading away. Carol did her best to try to soothe Natasha, telling her that she would help her going through this, promising her that everything would be okay, kissing her temple a few times to show the redhead that she cared about her, but nothing helped.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As much as the pain was unbearable and how hard she wanted to die, Natasha decided to hold on, for Carol, she couldn't be the reason why this woman would die. More than just the guilt of potentially making the Russian kill Carol, Natasha felt like their whole relationship was based on them protecting each other, she just hadn't known about it from the start. And, if she was being honest to herself, she had developed a crush on this woman and she hoped they would both survive all this to know if the blonde was feeling the same.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Natasha eventually fell into unconsciousness, passing out because of the pain and the exhaustion in Carol's arms.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Day: August 1st, 161st day of captivity.</b>
</p>
<p><strong> <b>Location: </b> </strong> <strong> <b>East Berlin, German Democratic Republic.</b> </strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Natasha was barely conscious most of the time and her abductors didn't try to force her awakening again. The only time she did wake up for more than a minute didn't last very long. She found herself laying on another mattress in another cell than hers, she had a blanket covering her body and was wearing clean clothes. After a second look she recognised the t-shirt and jacket, it was the clothes Carol was wearing the last time she saw her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suddenly she worried that Alexei Shostakov might have killed Carol but her guard, Anton, quickly told her otherwise. He entered her cell and gave her water before explaining what happened during the month or so she was unconscious.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After Natasha passed out in her arms, Carol was asked to go back to her cell but she proposed something else. She said that the only way for Natasha to survive was if they exchanged their cells, she would have the 'comfort' that Carol had, the warmth of a blanket and actual clothing, a good nutrition and no more torture to let her body heal. Shostakov accepted only because he was desperate to get the informations he was seeking but he didn't expect that Natasha would be unconscious for such a long time. After a couple of days he realised Natasha needed an IV to feed and hydrate her and Carol was the one who did it. Anton said that Carol wasn't being tortured although he never watched her cell, he swore that he would have heard it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Natasha was relived to hear that and started worrying for herself. If Shostakov learnt that she was conscious he would for sure want to torture her again. She shared her thought to the young soldier who replied with a dangerous yet smart idea. He took Carol's medical stuff and offered to inject Natasha sedative to make her sleep again. It was the only option but without Carol's expertise they didn't know the quantity of liquid Natasha could support and a too high dosage could be lethal. They chose to be careful and Anton injected a small amount of sedative directly in Natasha's IV, it was safer for her life, he just had to give her a dose regularly.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Day: August 7th, 167th day of captivity.</b>
</p>
<p><strong> <b>Location: </b> </strong> <strong> <b>East Berlin, German Democratic Republic.</b> </strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Carol woke up with a start, people shouting across the building. She wasn't sure to understand everything they said but it sounded bad for them. The brouhaha continued for a few minutes before it suddenly stopped, and Carol was too curious not to look for the reason.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She approached the door of her cell and saw that no guards were there to keep an eye on her. She called for help, in case somebody was still there but nobody came. The blonde kept shouting, she knew that the Red Army wouldn't leave one of their most important prisoner – Natasha – without surveillance. Only after ten minutes, Anton arrived. He seemed lost, as if he didn't get any order or informations before the other soldiers left.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Anton, what happened?” Carol asked even though she knew she wouldn't get an answer, “Don't know, but they said they will be away for several hours. Want to see Natasha?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Carol nodded excitingly as he unlocked the door of her cell. She didn't need him to lead the way, Natasha was in her former cell, she knew her way around and how to go there. As she arrived she saw Natasha laying on her bed and her heart skipped a beat, it had been forty days since the last time she was the redhead and she had to admit that she had missed her. Even if she was unconscious, the simple fact of seeing her warmed her heart and the usual feeling she had in her stomach when she was in Natasha's presence came back instantly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Carol told Anton to hurry up as he opened the cell and ran at Natasha's bedside. She checked if her IV was correctly pricked in her vein and if the bag of liquid nutriment that was feeding and hydrating Natasha's body was still full. She verified three time before getting her full attention to the sleeping woman. She sat on the side of the mattress and took Natasha's small hand in hers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The blonde could she the pain and the exhaustion on Natasha's face, she had bags under her eyes and was slightly frowning. Carol couldn't stop looking at all the visible scars she had on her face and neck and congratulated herself for the work she did with the little stuff she had, the marks of torture were fading away slowly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Despite all that, Natasha was still one of the most beautiful woman Carol had ever seen, “She looks so peaceful,” she muttered to herself but Anton standing behind her heard it, “I've been sedating her for a week. She woke up when I was guarding her and asked about you and I thought 'Carol wouldn't want Natasha to suffer more', so I took your stuff and made her sleep.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Carol gasped before looking at him, “You are insane, you could have got caught,” she scolded him as if he was her son, “But I didn't and that way she isn't being used as a punching bag.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Reaching his hand, Carol gave it a squeeze to thank him, she knew that she tried to talk right now she would end up sobbing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I get her a very little dose everyday, to be sure it wasn't too much for her, haven't done it today.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Carol cleared her throat before walking to the table where all the medical equipment she had received for Shostakov was, “Okay, um… I'm gonna give her enough for a few days,” she mumbled and showed Anton how much sedative she put in the syringe, “that's for three or four days, considering her morphology and medical state.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Carol,” he said quietly before looking at Natasha, “what if you don't give her now and wait until she wakes up. Don't you want to talk to her?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The blonde choked up, it was so nice of him to think that but she knew they couldn't take the risk to do what he proposed, “We don't know when she will wake up, if she wakes up today and I can't stay here for long, if they come back and see me there they will kill us both.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I could say something was wrong with Natasha so I brought you to help her,” he was such a good kid, Carol couldn't understand how he was here as a soldier, “I don't want to put you in any trouble, I’m just going to do this injection and go back to my cell, okay?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Anton nodded and left without Carol even asking him to, he knew she wanted to be alone with Natasha.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Carol sat on the mattress again and jabbed the syringe in the tube linked to the needle in Natasha's arm to administrate the sedative. She tossed the needle on the floor when she was done and stayed a little while longer with Natasha, just staring at her beauty, her thumb running up and down her cheek. When she finally decided that it was time for her to leave, Carol leaned toward Natasha and gave her forehead a lingering kiss, “I'll see you soon, I promise.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Day: Unknown.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Location: Unknown.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Natasha woke up with the worst headache ever, worst then the one she had after she got knocked out during her first interrogation, the one that lasted forever. For the first time in weeks, maybe months, she wasn't freezing, quite the contrary actually, she was almost too hot, as if she was covered by many blankets to keep-</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Wait.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She was, in fact, under many blankets to keep her warm, better ones than those that came with Carol's bed in her cell, the silk they were made of caressing her skin like the touch of a feather, one of the nicest thing she had felt recently, but not the best. The best was when Carol was taking care of her wounds, she was so careful, making sure she was not hurting her more than her torturer himself when she cleaned the cuts and bruises.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Carol.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, all she wanted was to get up and find the blonde woman who took care of her for months, the woman that kept her alive, that became her hope, her reason to live. She started wiggling and realised she had a needle in her arm, not at its usual place, and other cables connected to her. She heard a machine beeping faster and faster as she tried to get them off, completely panicking, thinking her abductors where experimenting on her. She screamed in fear, tears falling from the corner of her eyes as she imagined the worst, that the soldiers got the order to kill her, to turn her into a murderous robot programmed to assassinate anytime they would ask her to.</p><p> </p><p><span><span>At that very second, she wished she hadn't fell for the cute blonde woman the first time she saw her, the first day of her captivity, she wished she hadn't agreed to let her </span></span>tend to her wounds when she asked her to stop, when she told her she wanted to die. She wished the woman hadn't opened up to her, that she hadn't admit her she was also a prisoner, and that it was either the both of them survived or none of them.</p><p> </p><p>The beeping was so loud she couldn't hear any other sound. Not until a voice she knew hit her eardrums, “Natasha, it's okay, calm down please, you're safe, I'm here.”</p><p> </p><p>She recognised the voice in a heartbeat, <em>Carol. </em><span>All of a sudden, the pain, the fear, everything disappeared, she was safe, she was </span><em>home</em><span>. Her eyes still closed, she searched her surrounding with her </span><span>hands </span><span>to find the blonde. She let out a gasp of relief when she felt a pair of hands taking a hold of hers and i</span><span>nstantly</span><span> relaxed back into the pillow. She freed one of her hand to rub her eyes and opened them, her gaze falling on Carol</span><span>'</span><span>s face.</span></p><p> </p><p>“Hey there, you scared the shit out of me!” Carol said with a soft smile, her beautiful face only a few centimetres away from Natasha.</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Carol, where are we?” </span><span>the redhead wondered as she analysed the room they were in.</span></p><p> </p><p>“New York City, we brought you back… um… more than four months ago now.”</p><p> </p><p>Natasha gasped, “Four months… How?”</p><p> </p><p>“<span>The last time I saw you, you were unconscious, that was three days before we got free. After that it all went really fast, the army found us and immediately took us to the US, healed us, you mainly. They put you in</span><span>to</span><span> a coma to help you heal faster, they said your body would take a long time to recover from all the trauma</span><span>s</span><span>...” Carol stopped her monologue and Natasha could see the emotion growing in her eyes, “they said you </span><span>shouldn't</span><span> be alive after all you went through… </span><span>and I can</span><span>'</span><span>t stop thinking it</span><span>'</span><span>s my fault if you suffered that much.”</span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>You saved me, you were my strength, my reason to stay alive. I</span><span>'</span><span>ll be forever grateful for that.</span><span>” </span><span>Natasha's free hand reached Carol cheek and she pulled her closer, pressing their forehead together.</span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Agent Danvers?” A voice interrupted their moment, </span><span>not even knocking before entering</span><span>, “You are needed outside,</span><span>” </span><span>Natasha looked at the door and recognised Anton. He wasn't a US agent of some sort, she was sure of it, but he probably helped after they got free, </span><span>he even did before</span><span>, a g</span><span>reat</span><span> kid indeed thought Natasha.</span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Give me a minute.”</span></p><p> </p><p>He nodded before leaving.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Agent </em><span>Danvers</span><span>?” </span><span>Natasha said with a playful smirk.</span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>There is a lot you don</span><span>'</span><span>t know about me, I</span><span>'</span><span>ll tell you later, I have to go,” She stood up, leaned over Natasha and kissed her forehead softly, “In the meantime, you have to rest.”</span></p><p> </p><p>“I will,” Natasha whispered and closed her eyes, so relaxed by the news that she and Carol were safe that she fell asleep almost instantly.</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>Day:</b> <strong>Some</strong><strong>day</strong><strong> in</strong><strong> December.</strong></p><p>
  <b>Location: New York City, NY, United States of America.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Later the same day, Carol came back to Natasha's room with a wheel chair and two cups of coffee.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s that for?” Natasha asked, an eyebrow cocked, pointing at the chair.</p><p> </p><p>“I'm taking you out, and the doctors said you shouldn't walk so, there's your ride,” she replied with a laugh.</p><p> </p><p>Natasha rolled her eyes, she hated the idea of her in a wheelchair, she would look weak, but she wanted that moment with Carol, she needed it.</p><p> </p><p>The blonde put down the coffees on the table and walked to Natasha's bedside, taking the other woman's hands in hers to guide her. When she was seated on the edge of the bed, Natasha wrapped her arms around Carol's shoulders, knowing the blonde would carry her from the bed to the chair.</p><p> </p><p>After settling the redhead down on the wheelchair, she gave her the coffees and put a blanket on her lap before pushing her outside of the room.</p><p> </p><p>They progressed wordlessly down the corridors, Natasha wondering where the hell they were going, but she didn't ask, the silence being nice for once, not like the silence of her cell, the oppressing soundless room where she 'lived' in for 170 days.</p><p> </p><p>As they arrived to the exit of the hospital, Natasha understood why Carol wanted to bring her outside, it was snowing. She hadn't seen snow for ages, but the feeling of flakes melting on her skin didn't change at all, even after the physical and emotional torture, it was still Natasha's favourite weather. She looked back at Carol, the woman staring at her with a grin, “You remembered,” Natasha said with disbelief.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course I remembered, every word you told me are engraved in my memory until the day I'll die,” Carol replied gently before pushing Natasha's wheelchair next to a bench. She sat on it beside her and freed one of Natasha's hands by taking a coffee. After a small hesitation, Natasha used her now-free hand and intertwined her fingers with Carol's. The blonde didn't say anything about the gesture, it was like she would have done it anyway if Natasha hadn't.</p><p> </p><p>They remained silent for a while as they drank their coffees and watched the snow falling from the sky. Carol was stroking the back of Natasha's hand with her thumb and the redhead stared at her hand as she did, realising that the majority of the scars she had the last time she saw her body were now barely visible. It felt so normal, natural, to be with Carol like this that Natasha didn't regret the weeks of torture and suffering.</p><p> </p><p>“Remember when I told you I gave them what I knew?” Carol asked after she finished her drink. Natasha nodded, “well I actually didn't. They made me pass a polygraph test but I was trained to defy those things so they believed me when I said that I didn't know anything because I was just a little civilian visiting her grandma.”</p><p> </p><p>Natasha couldn't help but smile at that last part, she imagine Carol acting like the cliché of a dumb blonde that played a group of highly trained Russian and that was very laughable. Oddly, she also felt proud of Carol for doing what she did, lying was a thing, but keeping it going for months was the hardest part.</p><p> </p><p>Another feeling was overwhelming Natasha's and she had a hard time accepting she was experiencing it. She had been raised and taught that love was for children but right now it was how she felt, like a kid that wanted to be innocently happy.</p><p> </p><p>Natasha suddenly sat up from the chair, almost falling back on it as her legs weren't totally ready to support her weight.</p><p> </p><p>“Natasha!” Carol shouted, immediately standing up and came face to face with Natasha, she wrapped her arms around her waist to help her stand, “I said you shouldn't walk.”</p><p> </p><p>She achieved what she was looking for, Carol near her, so close she was only a few centimetres away from her ultimate goal, “guess I forgot,” she whispered, her eyes staring at Carol's mouth.</p><p> </p><p>Everything around them disappeared when she glanced up to meet the hazelnut gaze and found that Carol was looking at her lips too.</p><p> </p><p>Natasha leaned forward and captured the blonde's lips, humming in pleasure as she felt their softness. She wrapped her arms around Carol's neck, there bodies pressed together as Carol tightened her hold, reducing as much as possible the remaining distance between them. A deep groan escape Natasha's mouth when she felt the other woman's tongue brushing her bottom lip. Reluctantly, Natasha broke the kiss, knowing her body wasn't ready for a heated making out session in the cold of the American winter.</p><p> </p><p>“You cannot imagine how much I've wanted this,” Carol said before nudging Natasha's forehead gently. Natasha giggled in response, “About as long as me,”</p><p> </p><p>“Since the first day,” they said at unison and laughed. Natasha pulled the blonde into a hug and held tight as she breathed her scent, her face tucked in the crook of Carol's neck. The US agent kissed her forehand into the embrace, her hands running up and down the redhead's back as the rocked slightly.</p><p> </p><p>After pulling out of the hug, Carol gave Natasha's lips a peck before helping her sitting on the wheelchair. As they went back to Natasha's hospital room, Carol wavered to broach a subject that she would have to talk about with the redhead at some point anyway. She waited until they were in the room, in private, Natasha back in her bed, to tell her, “The doc said you need a few more exams before you can leave.”</p><p> </p><p>Natasha looked at Carol and frowned, “Where am I supposed to go then?” she wondered, Natasha wasn't an American citizen and didn't know anyone here except Carol (and Anton).</p><p> </p><p>“Well...” Carol began as she sat beside Natasha on the mattress, “I thought that maybe, if you want to, you could live with me,” she added with a smile before slipping a strand of hair behind Nat's ear.</p><p> </p><p>The redhead hadn't considered this as possibility, but now that Carol asked her, she very much liked the idea, “If it means that you can keep taking care of me and I of you then yes.” she replied casually.</p><p> </p><p>Carol looked totally in shock, as if their earlier kiss didn't happened. Of course Natasha wanted to live with the girl she loved, but that she didn't feel like telling her yet.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, um… damn that's the best Christmas present ever,” Carol exclaimed with a joyful tone, her smile growing bigger.</p><p> </p><p>“Christmas?” Natasha asked, she had lost track of time a little, she knew it was December but couldn't tell the exact day.</p><p> </p><p>Carol laughed as she realised she hadn't told Natasha the precise date when she woke up. She leaned towards Natasha and stopped just before their lips met, “Merry Christmas Natasha,” she whispered against her mouth and kissed her. The redhead smiled into the kiss, what a wonderful way to wake up after months of torture than learning that it was Christmas and that your present was the woman who made sure you would live this day, and all the other of the long life Natasha had to live, and she knew that she would go through them all with Carol by her side.</p>
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